Enna Aachu Namma Ponungalukku ?

anuradha ramanan - aval vikatan

Two weeks back, the tamil world went bonker bonks with two back-to-back murders. The wifes killed their respective husbands. Not because their husbands didn’t buy them chicken briyani or they didn’t take their wifes to Azhagai Irukiraai Bhayamai Irukirathu movie. Adultery. One of them was marred for nearly 12 years and had two kids. the second one killed her husband on the third day after marriage, while they were off for a honeymoon. And that was shocking to many.

Passing moral judgements would be the stupidest idea. But atleast someone could actually look through these and discover what really went wrong. Connected to these two incidents, Anuradha Ramanan’s column on Vikatan named, Enna Aachu Namma Ponungalukku ?, hits the nail on the head. She explores the mindset of contemporary society and then derives reasoning as to how extra-marital affairs branch out. The concluding part of this column will be on the next issue but this is Anuradha Ramanan in her own style.

Couple of month’s back, I was reading Sujatha’s Katrathum Petrathum Part 1 where he writes a one page story named Thirai. Thirai starts off as any normal shortstory and within just one page, explores the issue of adultery so subtely that it shocks you just on it’s concluding line. One of Sujatha’s best shortstories. Infact, the shortest.

23 thoughts on “Enna Aachu Namma Ponungalukku ?

  1. If you read the full news item of one of the murders.. the wife, who killed her husband, was actually forced into the marriage. It seems she was ‘raped’ by her husband (b4 their marriage) and that was used as a lever to get them married.

    years and 2 children later, she saw a guy she liked. instead of filing for divorce, they just rubbed off the husband.

    i think murder will develop as the only viable alternative to divorce among the lower-middle-class / poor sections of the society.

  2. Hawk, if u read them fully, both the wives were forced into their marriages. Still do you think adultery happens only because of that. I know some of rich and middleclass people who are adulterous with neighbors and friends. absolute bastar’ds.[lazy- your commeting doesn’t even allow me type bastar’ds]

    Lazy – I think we are a country of hypocrites. so many such crazy things happen…only a few surface.

  3. My guess is these women must have been married to someone like Nilu. Did a service to society by rubbing their husbands off.

  4. siva,

    no i wam wondering that she has an interesting case for self-defense against r a p e forced pregnancy and prolonged torture.

    /*Still do you think adultery happens only because of that */

    for men – no way. i dunno what ticks women.

  5. “for men – no way. i dunno what ticks women.”

    Hawk, ticks ? it actually tickles them. if its a man or woman who is adulterous then mostly (avoiding the gays and lesbos) there is a man/woman otherside who is engaged in this…so it doesn’t matter if its a man on woman who indulges in adultery.

  6. Siva,

    I think all humans are hypocrites. If you are not a hypocrite then you are god.

    Narayana.

  7. Hi lazy..i m a great fan of our blog. I do read them and enjoy every issue that you discuss.But this issue disturbed me pretty much 2 the fact that i am a lady myself speaking on behalf of all decent womenkind..that is to be precise.It is indeed true there are some indecent women who lacks discipline and family values..but this doesn’t mean ALL women are ALL the same..How a women grows up to be how she is depends on her how she was brought up..in psychological terms, Nature vs NURTURE. Self discipline,egoism,patience and most importantly a woman must learn how to feel shy..no matter how a woman wants 2 be impartial with a male gender..a WELL BEHAVED WOMAN Is always a step below men.on certain issues.if some women takes this advice,i m very sure..there will no divorces or adulteration in this world.Men at the same should practise respect n tolerance n should also respect a dignity n the honour of a woman.. Having spoken so much,my final say is: a good friend who respects n loves his mother n kins makes a good husband..n vice versa 4 a good wife.

  8. Hi Lazy,

    When I went to India last year, my sister tried to temm me the story line of the serials that were running in various Tamil channels. To my horror I found that all the serials had the hero with either 2 wives or one wife and a mistress. The so called wives in most situations were aware of the second wife or the mistress…
    …and the worst part, all the women in my family including my grandmother found nothing wrong in that!!!
    So has it now become acceptable to be a bigamist??
    In one serial, the heroine would rather be a mistress/ 2nd wife (she is supposed to be confused I think) to the guy than get married to another guy who is ready to marry her and even likes her…

    Funny world.

    🙂

  9. Hmm.. I was thinking about the “IT girls” as well. Ego creeps in for many of’em and leads to marital problems. Have seen some instances.
    Reminds me of Padayappa’s dialouge 😛

  10. Oh dear, if only the women of current day had been like my the ones of my great grandparents day. It certainly would have been perfect, how dare they move on, get educated, get a job, earn as much as the men do and demand equal rights. I repeat exactly enna achu namma ponnungalukku. Ridiculous.

  11. //a good friend who respects n loves his mother n kins makes a good husband..n vice versa 4 a good wife.//

    Lady Geek, Thanks for writing in that comment. And yeah i think you go those lines perfectly right.

  12. //So has it now become acceptable to be a bigamist??//

    I think indian television for atleast 15 years has borrowed extensively from the santa barbaras and the-bold-and-the-beautifuls that its getting tough and tougher to say which is acceptable which is not. And yeah it’s a really funny world.

  13. Feel like throwing up now,

    “a WELL BEHAVED WOMAN Is always a step below men.on certain issues.if some women takes this advice,i m very sure..there will no divorces or adulteration in this world”

    You guys should have been left behind in the 18th century.

  14. Well said, WA!!
    I hope you have more to come. 😉

    LadyGeek said she/he was “speaking on behalf of all decent womenkind” or did she mean “on behalf of womankind in slavery” ?

    I have no clue why Lazy would chose this as a topic for his blog (well.. it’s his blog anyway) but it didn’t matter so much, until after I saw the comments of the great “LadyGeek”.

    Lazy – I guess I could read between the lines,the point you were trying to make in your blog and it’s fine; but the title certainly is very sexist (it’s ok for Ms.Ramanan/Aval vikatan to do that) – didn’t expect that from you.

  15. WA/ Jen,

    I don’t think why you are upset about the title. It meant to reflect the worry about extent of spread of extra marital affairs.

    And since these two killings happened, this is from the perspective of women. Hence the title. Neither A Ramanan nor me conculde that all women are like this. But it has been mis-understood.

    The title is only to give you the local flavor and at the same reflect the worry.

  16. Lazy
    If you and A Ramanan have come to the same conclusion, I dont’ think there is anything much left for me to say anymore here apart from listen and learn from you people. Will be back as often as possible to read the pearls of wisdom from yourself and Ladygeek.

  17. WA,

    Even in your blogpost you never specified your oppossing thought to the column that a ramanan wrote.

    As mentioned in this post “Passing moral judgements would be the stupidest idea.” So I’m not trying to pass a moral judgement here. All I’m saying is that the column by anuradha ramanan explores the reasons as to why such incidents happen.

    If needed I can even post the entire article for you. Then, you can do a sentence by sentence review on it.

    this blog by no way spills pearls of wisdom. and that is never the motto. infact there is no motto. now, do you want to re-consider the decision of coming back often ?

  18. LG,

    Why would I want to re consider my decision, its such a pleasure to pop by here and I hope to carry on doing so in the future too.

    As to A Ramanan’s article, no I don’t need you to post it I do have a copy here with me. As I’ve said earlier I didn’t find anything interesting in that article. She seems to be living in a fairytale land expecting things to work out the way she says it will in a joint family. I don’t have an issue with that there is nothing wrong in seeing the positive side of things. And also as I said she needs to make a living and therefore needs to write what will sell, good luck to her.

    My issue was with the tabloid journalism which generalises of extra marital affairs and women murdering their partners etc, I also have an issue with pretending that these things never happened in the past. I have an issue with putting women on pedestal, your posts seems to suggest that women of yester years were perfect, its the current generation which has gone down hill. What rubbish. I am not saying women of yester years were bad, all I am saying is there were deviants in the society in those days too.

    As Boo said this is one of Ms.Ramanan’s more toned down articles. I have read worse ones from her, this was a lot milder than i expected.

    You’ve also asked for someone to investigate those two incidents and figure out what went wrong. Extra marital affairs have been happening for centuries now, in those days wives put up with it for the sake of family honour. And now a few girls are starting to stand up to it, thanks to the confidence the education has given them. If these girls put up with the situation however bad it is and kept quiet remembering that as well behaved women they were always one step below their husbands then the marriages will survive. As I said extra marital affairs have existed for centuries and this can be easily proven too and dont’ forget there must have been a woman involved in these affairs atleast in some of them. So women being involved in extra marital affairs is not a new thing either.

    WRT pearls of wisdom – there seems to plenty of them available here and I am almost certain there will be more in the future.

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